Image Credit: SUBMITTED// Matthew Heneghan
September 29, 2024 - 9:00 AM
Had Matthew Heneghan just let life happen to him, there's no telling how life would have gone.
He witnessed many things as a child he shouldn't have, until early adulthood when he made his way on his own.
“Growing up was complicated, you know, going through things that not everyone goes through,” Heneghan said.
If you are one of those people who has gone through it like him, Heneghan, a paramedic, author and motivational podcaster from Kelowna is here to tell you — and show you — it gets better.
For him, it began when he started taking control of his own life.
After feeling brought down by the world, he reached age 18 and made the decision to turn his life around and start again.
Fresh out of high school, he joined the military and served as a medic for the next six and a half years, which was then followed by a career as a civilian paramedic.
Throughout his time serving, Heneghan met, bonded with and befriended many, while also watching some of the people he worked side by side with pass away.
Though still determined to change his life’s route, this was the beginning of the end of Heneghan’s series of unfortunate events.
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While growing up in Salmon Arm, Heneghan’s father was an absent figure in his life. As a child, at age eight or nine, Heneghan watched his father as he was arrested and taken away by the police.
He was raised by a mother who dealt manic/depressive episodes, to cancer and substance use.
Often times Heneghan would come home from school to find an empty house, only to call the hospital and discover his mother was there.
“As a kid when you lose one parent, you get scared about losing the other, so I kind of lived in a fairly high vigilant state of fear for most of my upbringing.”
Years later during her ongoing battle, Heneghan's fears turned to reality and he lost his mother to suicide.
“She had moments where she was just this beautiful, wonderful person that I loved, and still love very, very deeply.”
Then he lost his sister to suicide.
In the following years, Heneghan was diagnosed with PTSD and was working through alcoholism in therapy and rehab when he decided to put his abundance of emotions to good use.
Things seemed to be going downhill as a series of obstacles were left behind.
Feeling somewhat defeated, Heneghan began a podcast to get his frustrations out to discuss setbacks or challenges, victories, personal growth and new lessons learned.
While dealing with PTSD, Heneghan said his emotions and experiences can be incredibly overwhelming, isolating and traumatic, with sporadic reliving of horrific moments.
His podcast helped work through his countless emotions. At the beginning of the series, Heneghan says the sharp tone he would use when speaking, the anger that was motivating his creativity, bled into his work.
As times started to get better, a softer, more positive version of Heneghan’s world was exposed and he decided to write two books about his time in the military, to showcase his experiences to the world.
Image Credit: SUBMITTED// Matthew Heneghan
Heneghan's introduction to normalcy, consistency and brotherhood, which was a stark contrast to his life at home, was his childhood friend, Drew.
“I think there were many moments that could have been a lot darker if he wasn't around,” he said. “He got me through many times where I was feeling insecure about myself and feeling lesser than. He would always kind of swoop in almost like a frigging superhero and save the day for me.”
Drew stuck with Heneghan throughout his life and supported him when everything seemed to be going wrong.
Another superhero to Heneghan is his life partner, Sheena, who Heneghan describes as his better half and truly means it.
They met at a signing for Heneghan’s novels. Though growing up in the same town and attending the same school, their paths never crossed until the right moment.
Heneghan’s journey started to glow brighter.
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With her, Sheena brought two daughters. While Heneghan was originally never fully interested in being a parent, he says the two girls have altered his life for the better.
“These two kids, I love them so much. They provide me with so much happiness. They also, unbeknownst to them, have almost given me a redo on the things that I missed out on when I was a child, the innocent times of life.”
Now at age 41 with a life partner, two children, a community of friends, a podcast, two books and a retired civilian paramedic, Heneghan feels so blessed and grateful to live the life he leads.
His life has completely changed since childhood and consistently gets better. What started off as a series of misfortunes led to Heneghan feeling like the richest man in the world.
“I think if I had to say the thing that I'm most happy about or most proud of is that I've made enough appropriate decisions in life to be able to give myself a chance at a life like this,” he said.
“I'm living this life that I would have never dreamed of on my wildest days back then. Life is beyond good. I feel like I'm living a fairy tale.”
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